


The Ghoster

by pinkcherry



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Miscommunication, Slight Insecurities, Slow Build, Slow Burn, filmmajor!jaebum, jackson eccentric, jinson are bffs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 00:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10477740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkcherry/pseuds/pinkcherry
Summary: "Ghosting - verbThe act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date"Jackson has been ghosted before and he was not letting it happen again!





	1. 24 Day Streak

Jackson was satisfied with what he can get. Even if that meant that everyone had moved on with their lives without him. Having other interests with girlfriends or boyfriends, or graduating, or even finding other friends they have a far greater mutual likings with. Jackson really didn’t ask for much despite how he acted. Sure, he went around, loud mouth and presence radiating just about anywhere, making friends left and right, and clinging to those he found most interesting. And maybe perhaps he begged for their time more than what was considered appropriate, but he knew how to read the air. If they no longer felt comfortable around him, he wasn’t one to push it. Because the more you force it, the more they would refuse your company.

Like Mark Tuan. He was one of the first few people he had grown close to in his first year. He was a year older and his heart had a boner the moment he had set his eyes one such a beautiful specimen. So Jackson clung on, showered him in nothing but affection with a little tease here and there (hoping he would get poked by the wonders of what contained Mark’s pants). But Mark was a quiet person, he was the type that preferred to text rather than to talk, so it wasn’t _that_ predictable when he began dodging Jackson a couple months later into their friendship. And then hearing about how Mark found him to be a nuisance from Namjoon. Jackson wasn’t arrogant enough to not admit he was hurt and he also wasn’t over his head to pretend it didn’t. So that ended his friendship with Mark.

Mark wasn’t the only one to deny his dream of a strong friendship. But Jackson learned that it didn’t matter when people like Park Jinyoung existed. Someone who’d appreciate him, laughing or snorting, flirty or mean, or just ‘wild and sexy’. He made him laugh a lot and he also made him comfortable enough to be the person he could fall back on. If there was one thing Jackson had learned after high school was that people come and go, others would be like Mark and some would be like Jinyoung, anyone in between was just a blur.

“Jackson!” he almost dropped his drink the moment Jinyoung invaded his peripheral vision in the exact moments he whipped around to turn. His cheeks were of a rosy tint and his smile was more or so huge, all teeth bearing and no lips. His eyes sparkled in joy but heavy with all the alcohol he had drowned himself in. “I want you to meet my hyung, Jaebum.”

Much to his words, Jackson followed the arm of said hyung, Jinyoung’s grip on his wrist tight in excitement. Before Jackson knew it, his eyes flickered towards the stranger’s eyes and he suddenly felt whip flashed, his mind stumbling back. There was nothing special about him, really, just the fact that he had four piercings running down one ear and three on the other, and on top of that, his tongue had rudely darted out to poke his glistening lip piercing. Perhaps it was the sip of beer he had taken the courage to drink, but Jackson mind short circuited for a second.

“This is the hyung I’ve been telling you about!” Jinyoung pointed at his face, rudely at that fact. Jaebum only laughed and slapped his hand away, making a comment about how weird Jinyoung gets when he gets drunk off his ass. Jackson shivered at the sound of his voice. “The film major one!”

“It’s n-nice to meet you,” Jackson hiccuped and it immediately sent colors upon his cheeks, Jaebum only laughing at the sight. He then extended his hand out for a handshake and Jackson nervously took it. He wasn’t so sure why he had been so flustered to meet Jaebum, it wasn’t like he was the first good looking person he had ever been introduced to. There was plenty Jackson had grown to meet. Shonwu. Jimin. Hani. Even Seolhyun. Not once did his dick stir so fast for someone who had looked like he was straight out of his scene days and was learning to cope that it was in fact a phase. “You’re hot!”

Jackson was stupid. Beyond fucking stupid. He didn’t mean to say it but it had been his knee jerk reaction the moment Jaebum pulled his hand away. Perhaps a desperate attempt to let Jaebum know that he was definitely interested in what his pants were packing. Or maybe just so he won’t lose his attention. Jaebum just laughed it off. And Jinyoung glared at Jackson and pushed him back, not in jealousy but just to be playful and be cute as he clung on his hyung’s arm, like the drunk he was. He then dragged Jaebum elsewhere and Jackson didn’t see much of him for the rest of that night. Mostly because he was busy meeting Jinyoung’s other friends but mainly because Jaebum took Jinyoung home early, worried for his alcohol intake.

Jaebum was nowhere to be seen for the next few weeks after that and that bothered Jackson more than he had hoped. He even hung around other film major students, went to a lot of their events to see if he can spot Jaebum somewhere, anywhere. But much to his dismay, not a single film major student even knew of a Jaebum. Well, one did, but that Jaebum wasn’t nearly as hot or pretty or charming.

He didn’t want to ask Jinyoung about him either because that would only mean an eternal hell for months and Jackson wasn’t up for the poking and the teasing and the whole kissing tree song. Jinyoung was _that_ childish. And besides Jackson didn’t want Jinyoung to know he was lurking for a person he knew very well. So when Jinyoung had brought him up one day during one of their coffee and tea sessions, Jackson pretended like he wasn’t all that interested.

“Do you remember Jaebum hyung?” Jinyoung licked off the remaining yogurt in his spoon, an eyebrow quirked as he looked at Jackson who had not-so-subtly sprung his head up as the name rang in his ears like it was a fire alarm. Jackson coughed once before nodding in response. “He has this gallery or movie showing or whatever. Want to come with me? I don’t want to be alone and bored out of my life.”

Jackson counted to five before answering, so that maybe he wouldn’t look as excited as he was truly inside. “Sure. When is it?”

 

Jackson finally understood why he wasn’t able to see Jaebum in campus. It was because he didn’t even go to the same school. He was studying at a far better university. And that made him out to be a lot more hotter than Jackson assumed. Brains, talent and good looks? It was a three strike nut.

While Jinyoung nodded off during the showing of a film, Jackson squirmed in his seat almost ninety fucking times. The bubbles in his stomach was not quite settling in him as much as he wanted it to be. The film only showed Jaebum’s face three times and yet he wanted to scream like a banshee when he appeared, despite it only being two to three seconds max. The movie was something about passion and determination, something cliche about a downfall turned glory. It wasn’t as boring as Jinyoung made it out to be, though Jackson would consider it as something only film majors would understand.

“Hyung!” Jinyoung yelled across the stadium, racing up the stairs as Jackson followed behind. Jaebum, this time sporting only two piercings, a maroon button up shirt and tight black skinny jeans with the infamous black converse. He looked decently professional without the actual professionalism. “That was amazing! It was so great and heart moving. I almost cried at the end and it was just purely so-”

“You slept a minute into the movie, I saw you,” Jaebum narrowed his eyes, lips dropping down into a frown as he pointed at Jinyoung’s face accusingly, but his eyes didn’t meet his body language.

“Then maybe stop asking me to come.”

“I enjoyed it,” Jackson interrupted, not patient enough to actually wait to be introduced or have Jinyoung make his presence known. Jinyoung just faked snored and Jaebum flashed him a bright smile, bowing his head just enough to show appreciation but not enough to make him look submissive. Jackson inwardly groaned at the tone. “It was really nice.”

“Thank you, I worked _hard_ on it,” Jaebum head snapped towards Jinyoung’s direction and his glare lingered on Jinyoung’s pouted lips. Jackson’s eyes flickered from Jaebum to Jinyoung and then back, suddenly his world small and empty at the unintentional outcasting. Jackson laughed, all of a sudden, out of the blue that it made the two friends jump from their place. And then he stopped so abruptly it became really comical to anyone who had witnessed it.

Jinyoung looked at him sternly for a few seconds before he turned back to Jaebum who had been looking anywhere but at Jackson. “Hyung I think they want to take a group picture,” Jinyoung held his arm so gently Jackson wanted to pout. Jaebum patted Jinyoung on the shoulder before breaking away from their trio. “Let’s escape out of here before hyung invites me to another filming.”

 

Jackson saw red. And fire, like he was Satan ruling the world of hell. And yes this time it was because he was on his second red cup (a new record). He wouldn’t be so angry if he wasn’t so alcohol induced (again, second cup), but he saw nothing but rage and hate when he had spun around and his eyes met such an unforgiving sight. There stood the man that had his world spinning, thunder thighs peeking out of his rip jeans, hair up and eyes hazy, and talking to the likes of Mark, the ghoster. He almost crushed the drink in his hand the moment he detected the flirtatious hand on Jaebum’s shoulder as the two laughed.

And that was more than Jackson could take because Mark _wasn’t_ funny so why was Jaebum laughing?

Jackson didn’t really have a plan, much less had time to think of one on the spot as he made his way through the hot and sweaty crowd towards the two at the corner of the room, near the staircase. He had just placed his cup on a fireplace and immediately walked right straight into the circle of their space. “Jaebum hyung! Who knew I’d bump into you here.”

Jaebum stared at him in bewilderment, his eyes slightly squinting and his head tilting to the side, eyebrows almost meeting in the middle. His smile completely faltered only if it wasn’t for the smug look on Mark’s stupid face that he managed to keep the effort to continue smiling. Jaebum forgot who the hell he was. “Jackson Wang. I was at your film concert or whatever.”

“Oh!” Jaebum face broke in his own epiphany and damn it he looked so damn cute. “You’re Jinyoung’s friend!”

Jackson wanted to tell him that _no_ he wasn’t only Jinyoung’s friend, and that he was Jackson Wang, the hot piece of ass  that made a lot of people’s heart swoon, the student athlete turned genius. But he reminded himself that Jaebum, in fact, didn’t go to his school therefore it was acceptable, since they don’t see each other at all, that he would forget who Jackson was. It hurt, but he understood that not everyone was going to remember him. “It’s weird seeing you here.” Jaebum blinked with a hesitant chuckle. “Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t be here! It’s just that..you know.”

“I get it,” Jaebum nodded, his gaze going back to Mark who had been leaning on the wall this whole entire time, waiting for Jackson to leave. And that was all the hints Jackson can get before bidding goodbye and wishing Jaebum a good time before walking away in utter shame and embarrassment. It also didn’t take him some time before he decided to call it a night and leave the party only after being in there for merely an hour.

 

“Whatever Bam,” Jackson rolled his eyes as he leaned back against his seat, as it massaged his back and shook him into relaxation. His feet aching from all the walking he had done that day and he could honestly no longer continue shopping for another hour with the likes of Bambam. It was only fun for the first part of the shopping spree when they were dressing Lisa up, being the cute little boo thing she was. But when she left, Bambam began having a fascination with his long legs and it ended Jackson’s mood for the day. “Talk to me when those legs actually land you a gig.”

Though Bambam’s moment of silence was all Jackson had been looking for, it wasn’t exactly comfortable not hearing his snarky retort. And it had bothered him when it lasted for more seconds than it took to think of a comeback, afraid he had actually hurt Bambam’s feeling. So when he opened his eyes and realized that his comment didn’t actually reach the younger, he had relaxed his shoulders and went back to focusing on the vibration of his chair as it eased his tense muscles.

“Jackson,” his eyes burst right open at the deep tone of the owner’s voice, sitting right up. There in front of him, only a few feet from him stood the underrated sex god, Im Jaebum (he figured out his last name from Jinyoung’s old high school yearbook). He had one bag on one hand and the other was stuffed into the pocket of his leather jacket, two identical bart simpsons earrings on his ears at two different locations. “Fancy to see you.”

“I didn’t know people still use the word fancy,” he didn’t know why he had said it but he did and he almost regretted it until Jaebum laughed again, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. Okay it wasn’t even that funny but Jackson wasn’t one to contain how his heart leaped. “Oh,” Jackson turned his head to look at Bambam who had weird look on his face, probably amazed by how fine Jaebum was, “this is Bambam, one of my dongsaengs.”

“Oh yeah I know,” Jaebum slurred with a knowing look. Jackson would have wanted to punch Jaebum on the dick for always finding ways to flirt with anyone but Jackson if it wasn’t for the look Jaebum had given to the taller boy next to him who Jackson didn’t even notice was standing there. His gaze flew from the mushroom haired boy to his precious Bambam and then back. “Nice to see you again Bambam. And, you know this time with clothes.”

“Hyung!” a whiny voice slip out of the taller boy as he had rudely pushed Jaebum to the side. It wasn’t that hard to put two and two together but the frown on his face wasn’t because Jackson hadn’t caught on. Because he has. But he had realized Jaebum didn’t come and say hi to flirt and catch up with Jackson but because of the younger’s evident shyness. Jaebum had just laughed it off and the other huffed, Bambam’s cheeks heated. He had never seen Bambam make that face in such a long time just because the young one was always so confident in himself. From the stride of his legs, to the height he held his chin up, and to the words that slipped pass his lips. He was one sassy fucker. So it was sight to see him all flustered because of the l latter tall one.

“Jackson, how about we grab some coffee?”

 

“And there he was, on his knees with your dongsaeng’s dick outlining his cheek--”

“Stop at the details I don’t need it!” Jackson threw his hands up in the air with his face bright red from Jaebum’s constant need to paint the picture too damn explicitly. He covered his face and shook his head vehemently, hoping if he gets himself dizzy enough he can get rid of the mental image of Bambam getting head. Jaebum just casually took a sip of his americano and left him to go to hell and back. “I mean it’s nothing new to someone like Bambam but still!”

“Hey! You should be feeling bad for me, I had to walk in on it,” Jaebum laughed and hauled himself forward, almost knocking down Jackson’s tea in the process. He couldn’t help it but find him so horribly cute. Jaebum had dragged him to the nearest coffee shop in the mall, leaving the two younger males alone for a small unplanned date. Needless to say, Jackson didn’t think he was in the place to complain when he had to carry _all_ of Bambam’s shopping bags with him to the cafe. “Man now I know how it feels to be the outsider.”

“Someone walked on you before?” Jackson eyebrows rose as Jaebum nodded.

“That’s exactly how I met Jinyoung actually.”

Then it led to Jaebum telling him the tale of nerdy Jinyoung on cleaning duty and finding Jaebum balls deep into a girl in one of the emptier classrooms. And it lightweight made Jackson feel disappointed again, the story only confirming Jaebum’s lack of interest in males, specifically Jackson. That was until he had continued his Jinyoung walk ins series and spoke of having an intimate relationship with a male. Jackson’s heart rose again.

“Oh shit! I have a paper due,” Jaebum jumped in his seat after glancing at the time, not realizing that time had passed by so much with Jackson. He quickly grabbed his and Yugyeom’s, as Jaebum finally revealed his name, bags and bid farewell to Jackson, dropping a few bank notes on the table and left. Leaving Jackson feeling satisfied yet empty when he disappeared from his sight.

 

Jackson choked on his orange juice. And it made him heave and burp at the same time. The corners of his eyes just had waterfalls coming out of his tear ducts, making it so damn hard to breathe. People stared at him, giggling at the sight of a sweaty Jackson having troubles breathing properly. Once he had calmed down, meaning his heartbeat was at least almost back to normal, he had looked back on the screen of his phone and stared at a notification.

**Hey Jackson! It’s JB :) I got ur # from Bam. I was wondering if you’re available this Saturday to come watch my film? I’d be nice to have you there.**

Jackson clumsily typed back a fucking hell yes but with modesty and less energy. He suddenly felt like the gods were listening to his prayers.

 

He slammed the door shut to his dorm and flung his jacket on the ground before stripping out his clothes clumsily but he was too angry to care how ridiculous he looked right now. He was just so mad and so frustrated and so upset and all he wanted to do was to cocoon himself inside his bed and huff and puff until the ache inside his chest would just stop and not bother him so much as it was bothering him right now. And so he did, and he stirred and stirred, trying his best to feel comfortable but the scenes just kept replaying in his head over and over again and it was just too much for him.

Jackson had never gone through so much hassle to dress so nice for a male who he barely knew and was not even sure if he had truly liked the guy or just had the sexual attraction that many got diagnosed with. But things were confirmed when he sat through a whole hour movie about who knew what. Then embarrassed himself as he yelled and cheered once the credits were shown as everyone else were crying their tears out, catching more than half the stadium’s attention. But he didn’t care, he wanted to appreciate Jaebum’s craft properly.

But when he raced down the stage, to congratulate Jaebum on another job well done, someone had already beat him to it. Mark Tuan, the ghoster, the overall fake beauty had gotten to Jaebum first. And it wasn’t so hard for it to dawn on Jackson that he wasn’t the only one invited to the show but as well as many other people. Jaebum didn’t invite him so he can genuinely show Jackson how talented he was, he just needed someone to pay to come and watch the trash of a movie he made with his group. So he just decided to leave without greeting the film major.

“Who cares about hot stuff, he's not even shit,” Jackson muttered bitterly against his comforters, huffing loudly. He rolled on his bed to release another irritated sigh. He wanted to sleep and forget the day even existed, in fact he even wanted to delete the text messages like it never existed.

Jackson poked his head out the thick comforter and extended his arm out to grab his phone from the edge of the coffee table, determined to actually erase any evidence of the day Jackson Wang’s ego was obstructed without consent. And so, with passionately intense music in the background, though everything was just in his head, he clicked on Jaebum’s chat box and pressed and held onto the message of invite, hesitating to actually delete the message. That was until another messaged popped out, scaring the living shit out of Jackson.

**Ass. You didn’t even say goodbye! :( Or said hi! :( :( :’(**

Jackson wanted to be mad and he wanted to tell him off, but that would be crazy for him to do and Jackson wasn’t fond of his feelings not being reciprocated. So Jackson did what everyone would have done in his situation. And that was to ignore the message until the hollow feelings in his stomach dissipated and he can face the world again head on.

But the world was always against the likes of Jackson. The world and Jackson just had such a love hate relationship. Because while Jackson had a face of a real man with easily toned muscles, thanks Jinyoung, he was also short. While he was given the personality of being easy going and was able to relate to about just anyone in the world, he was also prone to being hurt.

The panic that filled his bones made him freeze as he watched his thumb accidentally swipe across the screen, pressing the video call button. Though the panic didn’t register from his brain to the neurons that was supposed to control his motor senses because Jackson had done nothing but stare at the screen, waiting for his impending doom as he hold his phone up over his face. But that wasn’t entirely his fault because it wasn’t even on the fourth ring before the call was picked up and Jaebum’s bright smile flashed through the screen of his phone and his voice booming through his speakers.

“Glad to know you felt bad enough to call me.”

“It was by accident,” Jackson retorted, quickly sitting up in his bed, noting that he was sporting a major double chin and that wasn’t all too flattering. Jaebum had his hood up and the lighting at the back was at least decent enough to showcase his face but it was dark. “Where are you?”

“At a playground,” Jaebum turned the camera to face the jungle gym to the left of him, a set of chains almost pressing against his face that made Jackson assumed that he was on the swings. Jackson furrowed his eyebrows because why would Jaebum, out of all people, would hang around a playpen for children. “Why did you leave so early?”

Jackson’s brain short circuited for an actual answer because while on one hand he can make up a lame excuse on the other hand he can just tell him the truth and flirt his way through success. Jackson did it all the time. And he always received an all too flattering laugh and Jackson’s ego would be well fed. But this was Jaebum, and there was something completely different with Jaebum. And mainly it was because of the boner that he had in his heart however that doesn’t actually help him make up his mind.

“I had to walk my Pokemon.”

Jackson felt his whole world shook at his answer. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. That even the slightest bit, he was suppose to say some suave pick up line that would hopefully make Jaebum fall in love with him. Jackson wanted to be swallowed by an internal darkness.

“Then why didn’t you ask me to walk it with you?” Jaebum clap backed and right at that moment Jackson’s phone slipped out of the hold of his phone and just like in slow motion his eyes widen as he watched his phone fall from mid air and land straight onto his forehead and then bounce down to his nose. A curse slipped out of his lips and Jaebum’s laughter broke out through the speakers.

Jackson felt so fucking embarrassed.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jinyoung cornered him at the library, pressing his chest against his arm as he trapped him between his body and the wall. Jackson tried to push him away, wanting to be left alone and study his ass off for an upcoming test. “Flirting with my hyung and whatnot.”

“Which one?” Jackson dared to ask, even though he knew exactly which one Jinyoung was talking about. It had been two weeks since he dropped his phone on his face and it had been exactly sixteen conseccutive days that they’ve been texting, and nine conseccutive days since they started their streak on Snapchat. And Jackson may or may have not screenshotted a few pictures, knowing fully well that Jaebum would get a notification. But Jaebum didn’t care because he also may or may have not screenshotted a picture of Jackson’s bruise on his hips that may or may have not been intended to show off his remarkable v line. So yes, perhaps he was flirting with Jaebum and perhaps it had escalated.

“Hyung won’t go out with me anymore without asking if you’re coming or not!” Jinyoung punched him in the arm and Jackson jolted in his seat, not quite expecting to be beaten up in the library by the librarian himself. Jinyoung was a special case when it comes to him and his overflowing men that he doesn’t particularly have feelings for so Jackson was least bit worried of Jaebum being snatched away. Jinyoung, in Jackson’s kindest word, only look for beneficial friends. Whether that included sex, money, laughter, saving face, or all of the above. Jackson just hoped sex wasn’t on the table between him and Jaebum. “How am I supposed to get free meals from him? I can’t drag him anywhere without you being be the center of the topic?”

“He talks about me?” Jackson flushed, the butterflies in his stomach moving at a faster velocity in the containment of his stomach.

“That isn’t the point!”

 

Jackson was annoyed. Again. And he didn’t actually know how to pinpoint his annoyance because they were just scattered everywhere. The songs being played sucked ass. The constant ass grabbing. The watered down beer (not that he drinks a lot anyways). Jinyoung constantly clinging on his arm. Bambam whining. Or maybe, perhaps, most likely the fact that Jaebum won’t give him a time of day to say hello. Wearing tight skinny jeans with rips that defined his thighs and a simple black shirt that made his broad shoulders look especially tempting. In addition, and foremost, the fact that all his attention was on Mark.

“Jackson, am I pretty?” Jinyoung shoved his face close to Jackson’s, face beaming red and eyes droopy, his bottom lip jutted out in what was supposed to be a seductive pout. He then placed his finger against his bottom lip, and despite it making a jump in Jackson’s own sensitive and easily moved heart, he couldn’t help but be annoyed. “You’d be down for me right?” Jackson was confused as to what drunk Jinyoung was so worried about. No one ever rejected the soon to be millionaire.

“Do I already need to take you home?” Jackson wondered as he opened a water bottle for Jinyoung which was vehemently refused. At the corner of his eyes, he spotted a blurred image of Mark placing his hand on Jaebum’s hip and a nerve struck when the latter did nothing but give back a flirtatious smile, or he concluded.

Jackson wouldn’t be so pissed entirely. But he was and that was mainly because Jaebum had seen him numerous times, making eye contact each time  yet not a word was uttered through the booming shitty music. He was so damn confusing and Jackson just had about enough. This was nothing new to him. Jaebum was no saint, he already knew. But Jackson didn’t expect the likes of Jaebum would pull a ghost on him too. Did he read too much into the excessive flirting? What about their 24 day streak?

“Let’s go,” Jackson grabbed Jinyoung’s arm, out of overly protectiveness or jealousy, and dragged him out of the frat house before anyone can take advantage of his friend.

Jackson was not having it again. He was not going to experience the same fucked up heart break he had with Mark. He would not let Jaebum pull the same damn move on him. Because Jackson will beat him to it.

 

**Jackson are you free?**

 

**Jackson? When are you free?**

 

**Did I do something wrong?**

 

**Hey talk to me, asshat.**

 

**CALL me. You ruined our streak. Take responsibility. :(**

 

Jackson felt guilty that he was ignoring Jaebum because ghosting someone wasn’t as easy as he had imagined it to be. Even though Mark had done it to easily. It should easier for Jackson too, they studied at different universities for fuck sakes and they were at least 45 minutes away from each other. And it was only getting harder by the day because Jaebum clung on. He texted and he sent snapchats after snapchats that were left unopened. There was at least 26 snaps and more messages. And Jackson felt his heart ache every single time Jinyoung brought Jaebum up, asking for some information to what had Jaebum possibly done wrong. But he dismissed it and asked of Jinyoung to leave him alone and his best friend wasn’t dumb enough to push on.

Jackson thought it wouldn’t get any harder until the day that Jaebum stopped texting him or sending him videos or pictures through the app. It wasn’t something Jackson had gradually noticed. It was a sudden thought during his study group that Jaebum hadn’t sent anything to him the whole day. Then the very next morning there was still nothing and by the time the day ended, Jackson knew it was over and he had successfully cut Jaebum off.

 

“Coming!” Jackson quickly pulled his sweats on and threw a shirt over his head clumsily, hair still wet from his shower and face still vulnerable to the air. He stepped over his roommate’s textbooks on the floor and flung open his dorm’s door. What he had thought would be the next door neighbors didn’t actually meet his expectations. And his heart dropped the moment he noticed the dark auburn hair and the lip piercings being toyed with by the boy’s tongue. “Oh.”

There was no greeting or a question as to why Jackson had suddenly stopped replying. Jaebum didn’t even look like he was glad to see Jackson, much less look like he was at least affected by the sight of him. But that was not fair because Jackson looked like a kick puppy at the sight of Jaebum and it just explained everything to Jackson. This just truly meant that the mutual feelings he thought they shared was truly one sided after all. And the only reason why Jaebum had desperately tried to get him to respond was purely out of guilt that he, in fact, had done something wrong not because he wanted to be more than anything pass friendship.

“The girl told me upstairs said that Jinyoung might be here?” Jaebum asked almost too immediately. Jackson knew Jinyoung wasn’t in his dorm but out of pettiness and jealousy, he had opened his dorm wide open, looked behind his shoulder, pretending to look for Jinyoung in his empty room. He even called for Jinyoung and then looked back at Jaebum with such a sarcastic demeaning look that he didn’t think would have Jaebum flinching. “Oh well. Thanks.” Jaebum turned his heels back, and walked away, but not before he whispered under his breath, “Asshole.”

“Idiot can’t even take the hint,” Jackson suddenly said out loud and if he didn’t witness Jaebum’s shoulder jerking upwards as if he had heard Jackson’s words, then perhaps he wouldn’t have felt so bad. But he did because he had stopped walking, looked over his shoulder like the cool asshole he was and glared. Jackson didn’t know what he needed to do. Should he slam his door close and completely shut Jaebum out of his life? Or keep his stare so that Jaebum would know not to mess with someone like Jackson?

But then Jaebum was stomping over his way again and Jackson began to visibly sweat. His jaw was tight and jutting out in nothing but anger. And it may or may have not scared the living shit out of Jackson because he knew he was about to get beaten up. All those stories Jinyoung had told him about Jaebum protecting the younger one from bullies back in high school flashing before his eyes. Jackson may have the muscles to show off but he didn’t know jack shit about fighting. He was a peace maker, not a hater.

And then Jaebum was in on his face, ready to tell him off, face just inches away from his own and fists balled. Jackson was mentally preparing himself ffor the beating he would surely get but then he saw the hesitation in Jaebum’s eyes, a glint of hurt that had Jackson’s stomach swirling. Oh my hell, Jackson was about to throw up. Jaebum opened his mouth to speak but bit his tongue again and looked away, mask broken. If Jackson looked like someone who had been suffering from his first heartbreak, Jaebum looked like as if Jackson was the love of his life.

“Whatever,” Jaebum had just weakly pushed him by the chest before stalking away and out of his sight. Crushing Jackson’s entire world.

  


Jackson took advantage of having no roommate for a whole entire night. And he completely spent it the wrong way possible. He had rolled on his shoulder, clicked on the app he had been completely avoiding. He swiped to the right and looked at the unopened snapchats but scrolled down to look for the snaps he had been pretending to not exist.

With a intake of fresh air he had clicked on the unopened snaps and held his breath as a picture of Jaebum with a dog filter popped up, and at the center was a pick up line. Jackson couldn’t help but smile because it was a horrible pick up line and it was just oozing in grease but Jaebum was so cute and his heart couldn’t help but flutter. The snaps varied from more pick up lines, pictures of Jaebum doing stupid things, videos of him eye fucking the camera, two pictures of him with bottom lip caught between his teeth, and even a video of him showing of his Bart Simpson socks, and then another video of him holding up a Squirtle key chain, laughing and mocking Jackson, informing him how much they looked alike. The last few snaps had Jackson simping and tearing up because it was Jaebum practically exposing himself and his soft side to Jackon.

“You’re such a jerk, why won’t you reply to my text?” Jaebum was on his bed and the room was dimly lit, a pillow hiding half of his face and the two moles on his eyes more prominent than ever before. “I miss you. Talk to me.” The video cuts off.

Then there was two more snaps of Jaebum begging for him to talk to him or at least laugh at his jokes. And then there was the last video that had Jackson tearing up and he didn’t actually know why. It was Jaebum on his bed, cheeks pressed against his white pillow and bare shoulders just peaking out at the bottom part of the screen.

“I get it,” Jaebum started. “You don’t want to talk. But still it fucking hurts you know?” He sounded exhausted like he had been staying up for two consecutive days. Probably. He inhaled softly, his eyes almost closing on him. “But you shouldn’t be such an asshole about it Jackson. I miss you so bad because I like you a hell--” And then it cut off.

 

“So what if Mark hyung was flirting with him?” Bambam rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his mocha chip latte that Jackson paid for. He had told the younger everything that had been going on for the past month, all about Jaebum and Mark. And the younger listened carefully, speaking in between breaks but he was nevertheless truthful. “This isn’t high school anymore hyung. If you don’t move fast enough, someone will snatch your man. You know what I mean? Not everyone knows everyone anymore, there are so many people you don’t know that could be getting at hyung, or you even.”

“Still! If he had actually like me, then he should have done something about it. He can’t just constantly text me and not speak to me in real life,” Jackson whined, his voice strained from the cold. Bambam only stared at him for a few seconds before he looked away, mouth closing and opening. “He saw me at the party so many times. Why didn’t he say anything?”

“Because of Jinyoung,” Bambam finally blurted out. “You were too busy dry humping Jinyoung to even care for Jaebum hyung’s feelings.”

“What?” Jackson froze in his seat, his mind trying to trace back to the actual events of the party. He did not dry hump Jinyoung! Okay perhaps they were grinding to a rather sensual song, and perhaps he was rather impressed by Jinyoung’s ability to dance like a striper. It wasn’t Jackson’s fault, he was a man too! And if Jinyoung was willing to drop low only to pick it back up with his juicy ass trailing up against Jackson’s thigh, anyone, and he meant anyone would bust a damn nut! It was Jinyoung, smart intelligent but very pornographic Park Jinyoung! “Oh my fucking hell!”

 

Jackson stared ahead with his thumb’s fingernail in between his teeth and his eyes bulging out, nervous. He held his phone tighter to his ear, hoping by the next ring his call would be picked up. But it just continued ringing and he continued to be hopeful, expecting his call to be picked up. Surely he wasn’t a jerk enough to ignore him like Jackson had done. But then the call ended and he sighed loudly. “Aish,” Jackson stuffed his phone in his coat and hugged himself as he sat on the icy bench, waiting.

Sure he had only called once, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed. It was cold and his nose hurts and his ass is freezing. Who knows maybe it would even start snowing too. And that tainted his mood more than anything. Jackson hates the cold. He missed the sun and the heat and short cut clothes. But Jackson also missed Jaebum, terribly. Jaebum, who he had only known for a month, yet had so much impact in his heart versus a person who had been with him for years. So if he had to wait in the cold, Jackson will wait in the cold.

Jackson called again not one hour later because call minutes later seemed creepy to him. And when he had realized that, no, Jaebum is not picking up his call, and yes, Jackson Wang, fucking yes that’s snow falling out of the already ass freezing sky, he wanted to give up and go home. But before he does so he turned his cellphone on and searched for his messages with Jaebum, which, honestly, was a hassle for his freezing thumb. He sniffled once and scrolled up and down his screen, looking for his knight in shining armor’s chat box.

“Why the hell am I still trying? I have a lots of ladies and gentlemen waiting for me, all lined up for my _hot_ piece of ass, fuck you Jaebum. Fuck you. It’s cold and I am out of hot coco, which fuck you by the way, ruining my diet and shit.”

As he ranted, the icy cold making it more so difficult for his throat, his cold thumbs typed up a message to send to Jaebum ever so painstakingly slow, making sure every single word was at least spelled correctly. If he was going to try and make this work, he should at least show his sincerity.

_Jaebum-ah. It’s cold and it’s snowing and my tits are frozen. I don’t have the proper shoes either so my toes needs some warm loving too. Please just forgive me enough to let me in. I know you’re in there you shit, I saw your story. AND NO I am not leaving until you talk to me._

Jackson stared at the message for who knows how long but he knew minutes had passed and the chat bubble still gave no indication if Jaebum had even looked at it at all. He had looked at the building in front of him as his body shook, clutching his phone in the pocket of his thin jacket. He should have listened to Jinyoung tell him to put a sweater on, but it was also partly Jinyoung’s fault why he was here in the first place.

After his talk with Bambam, Jackson may or may have not burst in Jinyoung's single bedroom dorm, in the midst of having sex with a girl he swore he had seen before that one time at that one party after one particular game of beer pong in one small bathroom. Jackson was hopeful that Jinyoung had made out with her prior to their session. Then perhaps Jinyoung would know the taste of his dick as a revenge. But then again, Jinyoung had been getting at him since day one, and dammit, Jinyoung would _love_ to know. Anyways, after kicking the girl out, much to her dismay and after Jinyoung thanked her for doing so, blabbering about how he saved him from bad sex, Jackson started his tales with his knight in tight skinny jeans.

“Well, I assumed hyung would have the balls to take you away. I guess he didn’t,” Jinyoung scratched the back of his neck in disinterest. He stood up from his bed to fish out a drink from his mini fridge, parched from his session whilst pissing Jackson off even more for acting like he didn’t take part of fucking up the only one thing Jackson had been begging for a month. “Technically, I saved you from that. If he’s not willing to be assertive about who’s his man, then maybe Jackson he isn’t what you’re looking for.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” Jackson looked at him the same way he had looked anyone who had given him verbal directions to any place he had asked for. Words coming from one ear and out the other without a single second of being processed.

“Wasn’t that the plan? Make Jaebum hyung jealous?” Jinyoung blinked at him, hands pausing from opening his bottle of juice to look at Jackson, bewildered.

“What plan? We never made a plan!” Jackson bursts, his breathing quickened and his panting became heavy. And then Jinyoung explained, being the attentive and smart Psychology minor, that he was only trying to make Jaebum jealous so that Jackson can finally get into his pants like he had always wanted. And then _afterwards_ get into his heart. He said something along the fact that Jaebum gets jealous easily and when he likes someone, he would do anything to make sure not only make it known that he was interested, but to make sure the person of target was also interested. Jinyoung said it worked all the time, not a single failure when it comes to Jaebum.

“So maybe Jaebum wasn’t as interested as you assumed him to be. Hyung is like that, don’t stress on it.”

Jackson mumbled a curse under his breath. He thought about it, Jaebum not being all into him, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to break his already very low expectations. It wasn’t that Jackson had low-self esteem, but things like this sure damages it. He was flirt, he can at least admit. He loved attention and he easily attained it. And sure his last relationship had been a year or so ago. But it was only because he wasn’t looking! He was more interested in the numbers rather than the quality back then. That and because when things got too serious, people tend to walk away. Because Jackson was, well, _Jackson_.

People loved being near him but they don’t actually want to be with him. He was a dork, and he was silly, and at most point, he acted like a loser that it gave anyone remotely close to him a second hand embarrassment. So no one really was up to putting up with him for longer than a few months. Jackson was just someone you want to be seen with, someone you wanted to hang out with from time to time, someone to talk to in class, but nothing more. He learned that hard way too so maybe he should be thankful for Mark for showing him the bitter side of being a social butterfly. Even Jinyoung wouldn’t date him and that said a lot, considering Jinyoung’s numerous relationships.

“Fine!” Jackson kicked a rocked from underneath his shoes, standing up with a huff. He gave one last look at the building, and his chest tightened. That was what Jackson get for always having his heart opened for anyone to hurt. With scowl he hugged himself and walked off. Making an oath to give up on Jaebum, give up on ever trying again, give up on his ways of socializing, and just focus on his studies. Though he knew, there was going to be another Jaebum, another Mark, and another heart break any time soon, but he swore he would focus more on his studies.

He sniffled once before walking along the building. His mind listing of the things he wanted to once he gets home. A real hot shower. Start on that essay he had been pushing ahead. Maybe eat some delicious food that he would regret in the morning. Another hot coco. And then maybe start deleting the venom in his life that included--

“Jackson!” The voice boomed through the dark knight and he almost slipped and fell on his fat ass from the icy sidewalk. He quickly turned around, looking for the person to yell his name out only to see Jaebum racing down the sidewalk, towards him, clutching a coat with one hand. His pants was prominent against the icy air as he finally caught up with the shorter male. There was no signs of hesitation when he had forced the coat on Jackson, wrapping it around his smaller frame. “Are you stupid!? It’s cold! Where’s your coat?!”

“Forgot,” Jackson could only muster has he watched the worry sketch around Jaebum’s features. It made him feel warm and small in the coat, but something at the back of his mind knew this way wrong. So he had dumbly took a step back, taking of the coat and giving it back to Jaebum. “I was about to head home anyways, it’s fine.”

“Stop being immature,” Jaebum flicked his finger against his forehead and Jackson immediately squawked at the pain as his hands flew to his face. He was about to yell at Jaebum for abuse, but he wrapped his coat around him again. There was a soft glimmer in Jaebum eyes that it kept Jackson muted, as if the world had just suddenly opened up for Jackson and everything was fixed. But shit, this was no cheesy drama. So Jackson eyed him curiously. “Jinyoung called. Let’s go before you catch a cold. Your immune system is already as weak as it is.”

“How did you know my--oh so you’d pick up Jinyoung’s call but you won’t pick up mines?!”

 

“Drink,” Jaebum almost shoved a cup of tea his way and wrapped him in a blanket that smelled too much like Jaebum and it made him feel giddy. He wouldn’t mind being in this burrito for awhile. The room was dimly lit and there was three opened lap top all seemingly owned by Jaebum. Jackson didn’t understood what contained it so he assumed it was for their next upcoming short film. “Jinyoung called me from another friend’s phone.”

Jackson just pouted, like he had done when his first question was completely ignored. He had just been shoved into the building, shoved through the corridor, and then shoved into the room like he was some punching bag. Damn, if Jackson knew Jaebum was going to be this rough on him--well it was hot. He took a sip of his tea and he immediately wanted to spit it out. It was bland and frankly it tasted like shit.

“I don’t use my phone when I work,” Jaebum closed on of the laptops and turned around, leaning against the table with his hands gripping on the edges of the table. Jackson snorted at the position. And Jaebum’s ego shattered as he coughed and folded his arms under his chest with his lips pursed bitterly. “What are you doing here Jackson?”


	2. No Cream and A Lot of Sugar!

Perhaps things wouldn’t be as complicated if Jackson managed to get a grip on his emotions and just stopped splattering it around like it had to be everyone’s business. But Jackson was Jackson and he was never good at acting (and that was why he was tree number four for his first grade play). No amount of Jinyoung calling him a pissy wuss or Bambam’s irritated eye rolls would wake the dramatics that was Jackson. Because when he left Jaebum to continue his work that night, things didn’t end the way he had initially thought it would had ended. Perhaps a kiss on the cheek that would one day eventually be a kiss on another part of Jaebum only Jackson would see in his agonizing lewd dreams. 

Surely, they had fixed things between them, Jaebum was just that kind of person. Granted, Jinyoung said he was pretty known for his temper a few years back, but Jaebum was an actual grown up now. He had easily forgiven Jackson for being childish and stupid without even batting an eyelash. Because apparently Jaebum understood where Jackson was coming from, even if Jackson himself, after gathering the events that led up to his current situation, wasn’t able to understand what the fuck he was thinking. Nevertheless, Jaebum was forgiving and kind and sweet and an overall lovely person. Much least to say, Jackson still wanted to see him naked. 

However, despite things being fixed, the tension was still thick between them. And it was almost as unbearable as when they weren’t talking. Because while they started meeting up more often, most of the time it was a group hangout. And the group, most often, included Jinyoung and dismayingly, Mark. Just exactly what he needed to calm the hurricane of emotions inside him. 

To get facts straight, Jaebum no longer looked at Jackson with any of his wary looks, as if Jaebum was trying to get into his mind and work his way into Jackson’s heart and tight fitting jeans slash joggers. There was no more lingering stares or secretive smiles, in fact, the attention diverted more than it had ever before with the addition of two bratty, abnormally tall teenagers and an even brattier Jinyoung, and the social outcast that was the embodiment of beauty, Mark Fuckoff Tuan. Jackson didn't want to have any of it, but if he also still wanted to be able to breath the same air Jaebum was and there was no amount of teasing from Jinyoung that can shame him for it.

“I can walk I swear!” Jaebum hollered in a slur as he shoved Jinyoung off him, face red and eyes blotched shot from too many cheap liquor. But that didn’t stop Mark from cautiously looking after him, just one step behind. Jackson pulled his jacket tighter around himself and turned his head forward to look away, puffs of white fog appearing underneath his nose with each exhale. Holy fuck was it cold. “Stop clinging! You’re being gross again!”

Jackson had drank or seen Jaebum in parties drinking before, but he had never seen Jaebum drank way past his limits that his words started becoming slurred and unfiltered. He had a temper of a 14 year old, like Jinyoung mumbled underneath his breath as he walked side by side with Mark, watching Jaebum over. Apparently, Jaebum wasn’t after all very accepting to failures. Considering how upset he got from a low grade on his last film project that was, in Jackson’s taste, a lower quality than what Jaebum and his group usually produced. But Jaebum didn’t agree, because obviously he knew better than most and fuck everyone who doubted him and fuck his teacher for not realizing his egotistical talent for arts and film development, and fuck his teammates (which Jackson learned Mark took part of) for fucking him over. Jackson could still feel Mark glower across the table in the cold dark night.

Nevertheless, the four ended up taking the short cut to Jinyoung and Jackson’s now shared dorm (Jackson’s old roommate moving out for an actual apartment and Jinyoung convinced his single room is haunted, apparently it has something to do with his flings haunting him) with Jaebum drunk out of his mind, Mark’s patients wavering, Jinyoung feeling indifferent, and Jackson feeling more irritated than exhausted. The thought of climbing in his bed and snuggling in between his sheet was the only thing keeping Jackson’s sanity intact, even if Jaebum kept childishly stepping on the back of his shoes like a damn nine year old for shits and giggles. Luckily by the time they do get there, Mark was having fun pushing Jaebum around and Jinyoung watched contently (too tired to flirt, accordingly) and Jackson was whiny, because of his new white shoes. 

“It’s so warm!” Jaebum beamed as he stretched his arms over his shoulder, sighing a huge sigh of relief as he stretches his muscles out, Jackson just behind him, with a pout on his features as he looked at his now dirty shoes, placing them away in shoe rack Jinyoung bought for them when they moved in. Jinyoung just snickered next to him for reasons Jackson dismissed, too occupied with clouded thoughts of his schedule for tomorrow. Which honestly, was a dumb thing to do, because Jinyoung snickering or Jinyoung doing anything, should and always be seen as a precaution to his sadistic ways. 

Mark and Jaebum settled on the floor, much to Jackson very fucking dismay because he didn’t know how to demand for them to be apart without looking like a massive jealous clingy almost (ex) boyfriend. Though, really, it was Jinyoung’s judgmental gaze that stopped himself from commenting so he zipped his mouth close and grumble quietly in his own sheets with his back turned to everyone else. 

That’s right because Jaebum is not his ‘some’ anymore. Damn it. 

“Jackson, it’s easy!” Hani reminded him yesterday during their coffee emergency date, a protocol after Jackson witnessed Jaebum wearing his lip piercing again the other day. Damn it all. He needed to get over Jaebum, but who the hell can whenever the world was never on his side. Especially fucking now. “Just fuck him.”

“What are you doing?”

Jaebum froze in his place, a hand lifting his blanket up and a knee pressing against his mattress, a small deep hum vibrating against his throat as Jaebum found an answer. Any day, any damn day, Jackson would have been giggling like a teenager girl over Jaebum being adorable and slipping inside his bed to cuddle. But this was drunk Jaebum and as far as Jinyoung told him, Jaebum was currently not Jaebum but a romantic weirdo who loved to cuddle. 

“The floor is uncomfortable,” Jaebum settled besides him, laying down on his back and bringing his blanket over his chest. This was all too cliche. Jackson just pictured it in his head. Jaebum would wrap his arms around Jackson’s frame and pull him in tight and close, so casually like they were two puzzle pieces, just meant to be. And then Jaebum would say pretty corny things that he would soon forget in the morning right when the hangover starts. Crushing ever hope and desire Jackson ever had in a matter of a couple minutes and a few hours of rest. And oh, whatever Jinyoung would have to say about it right after would put the cherry on top it all, leaving Jackson not only betrayed and heartbroken, but irritated. 

But even with the knowing fact that nothing that would happen right here right now would end up well, Jackson let it happen. He let Jaebum wrap his long arms around his waist, pull him close, his back flushed against his chest, inhale deeply as Jaebum nuzzle his pretty nose against the crook of his neck, exhale contently and mumble softly near his ear. 

“I miss you.”

Jackson should have pushed him away and tell him to sleep next to Mark and to leave him alone. He should have, but he didn’t. Because the moment Jaebum laced their fingers together and pecked his shoulder, Jackson knew he didn’t stand a chance. So he pushed the tears back and the thoughts behind and closed his eyes, praying that sleep would come to him and he’d wake up without Jaebum by his side. 

And so he did. Without Jaebum. Just Jinyoung and his stares of concern and judgement. 

 

***

 

“You? You’re going to date?” Jinyoung snorted like Jackson’s potential happiness was just a huge joke for whore of the year. “How? How are you going to date when you’re still very much hung up on hyung?”

“I am not hung up on Jaebum! I moved on weeks ago!” Jackson threw his hands up with a scoff before folding his arms and dramatically turning his head the other way. Though, that didn’t stop him from catching Jinyoung roll his eye while taking a bite of his muffin. “I’m not. I’m over it.”

JInyoung glances over his shoulder, face suddenly beaming and Jackson only froze in his seat. “Mark!”

“I am late for my class! Shit,” Jackson quickly stood up, hitting his knee on the bench countertop, quickly grabbing his bag and his laptop and without a word for the approaching American boy, dashing away. Leaving a confused Mark and an amused Jinyoung behind. It was lunch time and his next class was tomorrow morning.

 

***

A month. Jackson had been trying this whole dating thing into consideration, even made a tinder. Which really, was only made to find one night stands and not love and connections. He went on a couple the first week, then the second rolls, and by the fourth, Jackson decided the bachelor life was not cut out for him. And if Bambam told him he was only dating around for the sake of dodging his real problems, then Bambam is fucking wrong. Even if his dates coincidentally gets in between his new clique’s hangouts. 

“Long time no see Mr. Wang.”

Jackson jumped at the greeting, spilling some of his coffee onto his hand. When he turned, he met two adorable orbs with an equally adorable haircut and a new nose piercing right on his left nostril. He stood there smiling warmly at him with his eyes disappearing into slits and the corner wrinkling. 

“Jaebum hyung...funny to see you in campus,” Jackson let out a forceful chuckle, hoping his forced smile comes off okay. 

“Yeah I was just meeting up with Mark.” Of course. Jackson just nodded slowly with a soft smile. There was a long stretch of silence between them, the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes slowly dissipating as the seconds passed. “So...I heard from Seulgi you were going out on dates.”

“O-oh, yeah,” Jackson nodded, flinching away at the sudden tension between the two of them, not used to any form of confrontations yet. 

“I see. Well, see you later Jacks, Mark’s waiting for me.”

 

***

 

“Yah,” Jackson groaned in irritation as Jinyoung placed his big ass hand on top of his textbook, bony long fingers interrupting him from studying/mopping. He looked up anyways while pulling one of his earbuds off, glaring at the doe eyes staring at him. Jackson really hated the librarian. 

“What is it?” Jackson hissed under his clenched teeth. Jinyoung coughed, the tips of his ears suddenly turning bright pink, his fingers drumming along the table, a nervous habit that Jackson picked up during their years of friendship. Jinyoung hardly ever gets nervous. He still stood as one of the most confident human being Jackson has ever encountered. His nervousness was even powerful that the two times Jackson had faced it, he himself had minor panic attacks over Jinyoung’s inability to function well. One of the instances was when Mrs. Park visited Jinyoung during their first year and the second time was just a couple months ago when Jackson accompanied Jinyoung as he tried to get himself tested for aids (it came out negative, thank fuck). 

“There’s this situation,” Jackson eyebrows started to quiver the more Jinyoung fidgets in his seat. He can already feel the sweat forming between his pits while watching Jinyoung physically gulp down the knot in his throat, his adam's’ apple bobbing at the movement.

“What kind of situation Park Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung looked around, over his shoulder and to each corner of the damn cubicle, as if anyone but Jackson was listening to his words. Holy fuck, this must actually be serious. Jinyoung then leaped across the table, hurling his upper body towards Jackson to grab his hands, the shorter (and muscular) student shrieking at the suddenness. Fuck Jinyoung and his dramatics!

“If you had this very good, very reliable friend who loves you dearly,” Jinyoung pressed Jackson’s curled hand against his chest as he bore his eyes into Jackson’s like a damn soul eating demon. “And this beloved friend...you know..ends up loving down another friend--”  
“Oh my god, did you caught a disease again? Park Jinyoung I told you not to say ‘fuck it’ every time you forget your condom or say ‘just do it’ when you run out out of lube and use loti--”

“That’s not it you asshole!” both Jackson and Jinyoung jumped at another student from across the hall shushing them. Jinyoung immediately retorting with a wet ‘shh’ as well before focusing his attention back to Jackson, hand pressed against his chest. 

“Then where are you getting at?”

“Okay! How would you react if your friend ends up like your other friend whom you may or may have not had an almost relationship with?”

There was a long pause between the two friends. Jinyoung looking up at him, expression in a mid flinch while Jackson stared back with a dumbfounded look, his heart hammering against his chest, as he feels Jinyoung’s heart dropping and then racing within a few seconds. Jackson looked off to the side, and Jinyoung continued to let him process his words.

Then a lightbulb went off. And the jackhammering of his heart stopped for a second or two, god’s way of sending Jackson to heaven and throwing him back down to cold hard ground. 

“Oh,” was the only thing he was able to blurt out in the moment before he turned his head back to look at Jinyoung, his heart still racing in his chest. It took another few silent moment for Jackson to collect himself and then he laughed. “So what? If my two friends like each other, they like each other---I mean who am I to control what they should and should not to with each other?”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course I am!” Jinyoung looked too relieved at his feign act as he let Jackson’s hand go and stood up straight, fixing his expensive cashmere sweater. “I mean, I’m all for love you know?”

They’re really happening. Mark and Jaebum. What a fucking joke. 

 

***

 

Jackson was trying so hard to focus on the words in the chapter that he had read twice that hour and for some damn reason he wasn’t able to concentrate on any of the damn vocabulary. Not with Jaebum and Mark in his head doing the most extremely romantic couple activities like picnics with the moonlight, going on rides and eating ice cream while wearing matching childish headbands in an amusement park, and fucking slow and deep in a bed with rose petals in a candle lit room. 

Jackson breathed in slowly and the exhale out when suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder and a voice so quiet calling for his attention that he jumped in his seat and came out a rather girly shriek that had head turning his way and glares shooting daggers at him. 

“Shit I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jackson whipped his head quickly to meet face to face with Mark (Fuck Off) Tuan. There was a small blush along the apple of his cheeks from the stares they were getting and whispers started going off. Ever since that music video Mark appeared in a few weeks ago aired, everyone suddenly had eyes on the damn prize and Jackson was not so sure how he felt about everyone coming up to him to get close to Mark. Usually, shit like that happened to people so that they can get close to Wang Jackson, the athlete turned genius. Of course, the world hates him now and had been gifting everything to Mr. Perfect. 

“Maybe don’t sneak up on me next time!” Jackson snapped, accidentally that had Mark wincing at his menacing tone. But as per usual, Mark apologized again with a pat on Jackson shoulder, a smile appearing on his lips. The same damn smile Jackson used to fantasize about. “What is it? Why are you scaring the shit out of me in my own space and my own time?”

Mark blinked at him a few times before chuckling. “Anatomy is stressing you out huh?” For some reason, Jackson visibly relaxed at the small fond grin on Mark’s face that had him feeling less jumpy and more in tune. “But--I came here--I heard that Jinyoung spoke to you a few days ago regarding...you know--”

“Yeah I recall,” Jackson tried to scold himself from looking tense at the presence of Mark but knowing him well, Mark didn’t seem to notice. “...are you two…”

“Oh no not yet!” Mark flushed at the question as he waved his hand. “I mean, I haven’t popped the question yet.”

“Oh why not?” Jackson raised an eyebrow. This was complete bullshit then if Mark hadn’t ask Jaebum out then because how they hell was Jackson going to complete his getting over Jaebum mission if he won’t be seeing them making out anytime soon. It was like they were really trying to test his patience and kill him.

“Because, I wanted to make sure you were fine with it first,” Mark said it one breath, like he didn’t want to say it out loud but had to force it out before he physically die in secret. “Well, I am still doubting.”

“Why are you--but I said it’s fine if you two date. Besides, I already had thought that you two would one day end up together anyways,” Jackson wasn’t going to deny the tiny pinch in his chest when the words slipped out of his mind. The flashbacks of the shy flirting during parties and then the invasive private conversation during their meetings, and even the secret dates they had. It was inevitable that Jaebum would fall for Mark’s cuteness and Mark falling for Jaebum’s chic charms. “Why would you doubt anything?”

“Well, because of you, really,” it had seemed that Mark also didn’t want to say those words out loud and perhaps maybe Mark had wanted to let him hear and digest the words to fully comprehend the meaning behind it. But he didn’t give Jackson much of a chance when he flashed him his canines and point at his books. “Oh if you ever need any help, I can tutor you. I passed this class without a sweat.”

“Huh...oh,” Jackson looked at the textbook again and looked back at Mark. He started thinking back to the first time he had met Mark and how different he was now that different people (Jaebum) are in the mix. And he had concluded that Mark was not a bad guy, just that Jackson didn’t fit well with Mark or Jaebum and it just so happened that the two latter fit together. Maybe Jackson should really take a step back to everything and just let the world do what it does best. “Y-yeah. Thanks hyung.”

 

***

 

“Knock knock,” Jackson looked over his shoulder to squint at the door slowly creaking open and watching Mark’s small head peak through the tiny crack. How he still looked adorable doing that was beyond Jackson but nevertheless he grunted and shuffled further into the comforts of his blanket. “Is Jinyoung here?”

“No, he has a last minute thing to do,” Jackson answered nonchalantly, finally noticing how dry his eyes are as he blinked rapidly.

“I brought coffee,” Mark announced in a sing song voice as he trudged across the small dorm and sat himself right by Jackson’s hip, placing the coffee on the table between the two beds in the room. It had only been a week since Mark and Jackson’s initial talk and almost two since his conversation with Jinyoung. Oddly enough, Mark had completely gotten rid of his title of being the ghoster as he appeared in every corner Jackson turned. He was hoping today would be different as he dodged the library and stayed at the dorms to study, an activity that Jackson vehemently avoids. Nothing convinced to nap more than being cocooned in warm blankets. 

In other words, Mark had made ways to nudge his existence in Jackson’s life to the point that there had been no day since eight days ago where Jackson didn’t see Mark. Which was a damn record because Jackson remembered going days, weeks, and months of not seeing Mark, frankly it was due to a very unreasonable cause. Freshman Jackson would have been elated to be showered in Mark’s attention, but Jackson with battle scars was more than confused and slightly nervous. Mark was a fucking haunting ghost and Jackson was not sure how to escape. 

What was worse was the more he saw Mark that more his mind drifted to Jaebum. And when Mark started being nice and friendly in ways that he should only be doing to Jaebum, Jackson started to feel guilty. 

“No cream and a lot of sugar, just the way you like it!”

Mark was being weird, weirder than his usual social outcast tendencies. He laid down next to Jackson, from hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder and Jackson swore he can feel his warm breath on his cheek as he peered down at his work. “Need my help?”

“Don’t you have some romancing to do hyung?” Jackson raised an eyebrow at Mark who laughed at his expression, even having the audacity to reach his hand out to ruffle Jackson’s already messy hair. 

“It’s what I came here for.”

“What?” Jackson’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his eyes widening comically. Mark found it more hysterical as he started slapping Jackson’s arm like a teenage girl feeling giddy over a crush. “You’re so weird, go away!” 

“What’s going on here?” 

Thank fucking god Jinyoung finally walked in.

 

***

 

“Jackson!” 

He groaned internally at the sight of the redhead jogging his way, his satchel bouncing against his hip with that stupid smile of his spread across his face, showing those two stupidly sharp canines. Now this was really getting irritating. 

“I bought you a sandwich, Jinyoung said you like these kinds,” Mark handed him a paper bag, well more like shoved it in his hands. “I have to go!” Mark patted him on the shoulder and turned to his left to start speed walking to his next class. Jackson was about to bid him goodbye when he turned around to face him again, now walking backwards. “Oh by the way, text Jaebum! He’s looking for a model!”

“What!?”

“Just text him!”

 

***

 

“I don’t understand what you’re asking me to do!” Jackson pulled on the hoodie of his sweater to adjust it more comfortable around his neck, Jaebum clicking his tongue in irritation. Before he knew it, Jaebum was behind him again, fixing the hood that Jackson didn’t feel was right and then reaching in front of him to adjust the strings of it. Jackson felt the flush spreading through his whole entire body as Jaebum walked around him to bend over and fix his hair. 

“Just stay still and be natural!” Jaebum patted his cheek endearingly as he took four steps back and snapped a few shots of him (and again, without the damn counting; one two three Jaebum it’s not that hard!). So Jackson did what a Jackson would do and sat still, his face so tense Jaebum had to literally tug his cheek to relax his muscle. “Just pretend the camera isn’t here and just look at me.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jackson murmured underneath his breath but that didn’t stop Jaebum from catching his words. He pulled the camera out of his face and looked down at Jackson with the corner of his mouth tugging in a small smirk. 

“Jackson Wang, are you flirting with me?”

Mark Tuan. Mark Tuan. Mark. Tuan.

“No! I’m not!” Jackson was now madly blushing as Jaebum laughed off his struggles to sit still and not strangle Jaebum. Four flashes suddenly went off and his eyes widen in bewilderment. There was a stretch of silence between them as Jaebum looked at his shots and Jackson surely wished that he was imagining things again at the sight of Jaebum’s fond look as he examined his pictures. “How are you and Mark anyways?”

Jaebum looked up from the camera, his jaw tightened slightly as if he didn’t mean to get caught up in his work. “Oh--uhh we’re good,” Jaebum nodded curtly, “Yeah after that small argument, we patched things up real quick.”

“Oh,” they had an argument. Jackson should really back off the studying and the whole tinder ordeal because he had never heard of his fight before, especially when his best friend was a sucker for controversies and Bambam ate up all the intensity just to satisfy his thrill. “Guess it wasn’t as bad as you presumed?”

“Yeah, I mean after Jinyoung spoke to you, I guess there was no reason to be fighting you know? It was all a misunderstanding anyways,” Jaebum bit the side of his cheek and sat down on the floor. And if he didn’t know Jaebum any better than the past couple months, Jackson would have bought the whole ‘I am focusing on my craft’ excuse as to get deep with his friends. “Jackson you’re really okay with this right?”

It took Jackson a moment but he nodded and said, “Of course I am. Everyone deserves to be happy right?” Jaebum just simply shrugged his shoulders and leaned back to take two more shots. There was a small lump against Jackson’s throat and he felt like if he didn’t push it out, he was surely going to choke. “Are you happy Jaebum?”

Jaebum eyes slowly rolled up to meet Jackson’s and for a moment he swore the world was spinning. “I could be happier. What about you?”

No, not really. 

“I can’t seem to find a reason why I can’t?”

“Right,” Jaebum then stood up and looked over his shoulder to glance at the the clock. “Hey listen I have to bounce at 5. I have movie to see with Mark...do you want to come along?”

“N-no, I have some things to do.” 

 

***

While Mark uninvitingly shoved himself in Jackson’s life, Jaebum, on the other hand dragged him along. It was more than Jackson could take, especially since though he wanted to keep peace with Mark and keep in touch with Jaebum, it’s a little uncomfortable being with your two almost ex boyfriends who also happened to be dating one another. There was only so much guilt Jackson can take. Especially since Mark now spends all his free time in his dorm room, with Jackson, to the point that they have inside jokes. And to the point that skinship had quickly escalated from pats on the shoulder to blatantly squeezing thighs and cuddling up to him in bed. It doesn’t help when Mark’s words echoed in his mind every second he spent time with him. 

“That’s what I came for.”

Then there was Jaebum who had been acting like he was walking on eggshells around Jackson. At least, Jaebum knew his damn boundaries but it was still suspicious to the amount of times Jaebum had travelled a whole hour away to come and hang out with Jackson a few times a week. It was definitely unsettling especially since their hangouts coincidentally was scheduled in the time frame that Mark was in class or in an organized group study. 

So Jackson had to do what was best for them. Talk about Jaebum with Mark, and Mark with Jaebum. 

“Oh you’ve been here?” 

“Yeah, Mark and I went here last week,” Jackson mentioned as he plopped a brisket in his mouth after swirling his noodles around. Jaebum and Jackson, much least to say, were back on track. If Jinyoung (and Mark) wasn’t around during the evenings, Jaebum and Jackson were face timing. They are back to their 14 day streak on Snapchat but instead of it all being flirtatious, it was just your regular good mornings and goodnights with more of inside jokes and life updates. They text often and sometimes Jaebum would get Jackson’s opinion on an outfit (a whole outfit, no more showing off skin and asking how his damn nipples look). 

“Mark?” Jaebum raised an eyebrow and Jackson didn’t have to look at him to realize that the tension in the air had gotten thicker. “You talk about him often.” There it was, his voice seething of jealousy and judgement. 

“We’re friends now,” Jackson dodged the impending eruption, especially since the sight of Jaebum’s jaw slightly jutting out made him nervous. “Isn’t that what you want us to be? Friends?”

“I guess,” Jaebum gazed away from Jackson’s boring eyes before focusing his attention back to his ramyun bowl. 

 

***

 

“Oh Mark told me about the film. How is the progress going? He said you’re having troubles,” Jaebum whipped his head around and for a moment his eyebrows twitched for a moment with an accusatory glare before his face evens out. Jackson surely didn’t miss that look, not when all his focus was on Jaebum. Not when all he can think about everyday was Jaebum, not when every time they say goodbyes, the first thing to pop in Jackson’s mind is when will next time be. Not when Jackson, for a few nights, had been visibly upset at the fact that Jaebum didn’t face time him, dodging Jinyoung whenever he asked what was wrong. Not when every single smile and laugh had his heart beating uncontrollably. And especially not whenever he brought up Mark into the conversation, Jaebum would act so tense. 

“I’m distracted is all,” Jaebum brushed it off, shrugging his shoulders while looking over the shots he took of Jackson a few minutes ago. “I’ve just been trying so hard to get someone’s attention, but it seems like they just have a tough time looking into their past than what their future can be.”

Jackson froze where he stood, a few feet apart from Jaebum who brought the camera back against his face, one eye tight shut, the other looking through the lense and snapping another candid shot, his flow too quick for Jackson to actually pose. “What? Is this about Mark or are--”

“Would you just stop bringing up Mark?” Jaebum snapped, his grip on his camera tight, holding it against his chest. His eyes narrowed threateningly, jaw tightening and jutting slightly out, as if he was holding back his words. There was pure anger seething through his through his tense shoulders like he was about to pounce on Jackson if he had.

“What do you mean, I was just--”

“Do you still like Mark?” Jackson was taken back at the question, physically taking a step back to assess the situation in his head. Did he still like Mark? Mark? Did Jaebum just ask if Jackson Wang was still into Mark Tuan? When all Jackson has been doing the past few months was to get with Mark’s boyfriend. Jaebum’s shoulder dropped at the long silence that ran between them, must have taken Jackson’s surprise as a yes to his question. “That’s really unfair. You’re being so unfair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow has it really been that long since I last wrote this??
> 
> sorry!!
> 
> but I finally got the direction to where I want this fic to go :)


	3. Earth To Jackson

Jackson didn’t do well with alcohol. He never looked at a whole bottle of vodka and thought, hey why not chug it all down. One, because he hated the burn, two, the burn tasted absolutely disgusting. Same with beer, beer also sucked ass. But he carried beer around anyways, just for the purpose of holding a red cup and being a part of the crowd. There was something so connecting with seeing other people hold similar drinks as him, even if he doesn’t finish the whole cup by the end of the night. 

However, Jinyoung was the complete opposite. Every sip Jackson takes from his red cup, a shot is down by Jinyoung. And if Jackson already felt woozy by the fifth sip, Jinyoung was just getting started with his fifth shot, doesn’t even feel a thing. Though, the more the two drinks the more they feel so involved with the crowd, socializing was a lot more fluid and free, not that they had any troubles in the first place. 

As Jackson stayed pretty sober for the night, like any other party, Jinyoung was left shit faced by the end of the night. Perhaps it was the sole reason why Jackson never truly got the feeling of being completely drunk off his ass, desiring to be that carefree and stupid. Someone had to take care of Jinyoung, and he can’t necessarily put that responsibility on anyone, not even Jaebum. Or Mark. Fuck Youngjae. And Yugyeom and Bambam had curfews, children can’t be trusted. 

So he swirled his the contents of his almost empty red cup as he stood with their formed clique. The party was slowly dying down but nevertheless, it was still loud and people were playing, dancing, and talking. Everyone, in their own individual affairs, making a scene by yelling or getting on top of the kitchen table, trying to hump the air (“Youngjae get the fuck down!”). In front of him stood Jaebum, back on his usual fit of skinny ripped back jeans paired with a graphic shirt that has basic porn printed right in the middle, a camo jacket that looked like it had been in Mark’s closet before, and his piercings, the nose one specifically. 

“Yah, Mark, do you want me to drag your ass back home?”

Jaebum glared, Mark’s arms wrapped around his waist tightly, his chin on Jaebum’s shoulder blade. He had been winking and giggling towards Jaebum direction for the last five minutes now, throwing too much sexual jokes in the air. Each words uttered making Jackson want to throw up from the amount of times his stomach churned. 

“Yeah, hyung, join our threesome, we’ll let you top,” Jinyoung joined, he too, wrapping his arms around Jaebum’s hips, only an inch below Marks. He blew air in Jaebum’s ear and the older latter swatted at his hips, Jinyoung only got encouraged to moan out loud. 

Jackson hand were practically shaking in a feeling he knew all too well as he down the last contents of his drinks, though his eyes never left Jaebum. Both Jinyoung and Mark looking at each other suggestively, Jaebum, in between, slowly started playing a long, as if it cannot possibly get any worse for him. 

Maybe it was time for Jackson to get to his third cup. 

“Wait Jackson!” Mark grabbed him by the arm,  simultaneously pulling him away from pouring himself a second cup. He was laughing and shaking his arm, making his ear ring at the loudness as Mark explained something he saw Youngjae do to an innocent bystander, Yugyeom. Jackson lost by the fourth cackle and just stared at him in awe with Mark looking like he was having the best time of his life. 

Then he caught the dark orbs of Jaebum, who was leaning against the wall, watching him like a hawk, as if he had been keeping his eyes on Jackson. A shiver ran down his body and now he doesn’t feel like he the third drink was needed. Because now he was just as fucked as Youngjae.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“Mark! What’s wrong with you!?”

“I just need you, to stick by me, okay? Is that too much to ask Jackson? Like can’t you just make me feel better?” Mark took a sharp turn, his words biting Jackson as he physically gets taken back by then, almost tripping on his own two feet. He had heard tales and gossip about being an ‘in betweener’ when it comes to couples. So when Jackson was forced to go to the mall by Mark, he had been so scared for his life. 

“ _ I need to get my mind off things okay? _ ”

How was even even suppose to reject Mark when he had sounded so expastrated and upset. Mark and Jackson had gotten along in the course of a month now, better than when Jackson had just awkwardly accepted his help and food. Though, there was at times when Jackson would just pause for a moment, usually when’s alone, and realize that Mark had been the only one seeing him these days. Mark would take him out to lunch and then meet up with him a few hours later for dinner. He would visit the dorms often, even though his building was a whole ten minute walk. 

It got especially weird when Mark would flop down on his bed, throws a leg over Jackson’s back, cuddling against his side, face usually pressed along his arm. Mark would just nap there until Jackson felt too annoyed of trying not to disturb him that he would literally elbow the older’s neck to just wake him up. 

And, oh.

“Okay fine,” Jackson sighed as Mark grabbed his hand, interlaces their fingers together and pulled on the younger one to another store. Things like these. It was like Mark just completely forgot that he had a boyfriend an hour away and should have him hold his hand instead of Jackson. From the length of seeing Jaebum and Mark together, they have barely even held hands, much less hug one another. Surely, if he had dated any of them, Jackson would be all over his boyfriends. But Mark just doesn’t hold Jaebum’s hand, even if Jaebum was dying from the cold. 

“ _ Do you still like Mark? _ ”

Jackson shut his eyes closed for a moment to shake off the thoughts in his head. It was also why he can’t seem to ever reject Mark on any occasion. Because rejecting him does not only make him a horrible person, but it meant that Jaebum’s words were true, or at least true enough to prove him right. If he doesn’t let go and feign interest, it meant that he was a perfectly normal human being who grew up from the past mistakes. If he lets go, it also meant that since he had a reaction against it, it would seem like he still had some left over feelings for Mark. 

“Earth to Jackson?” Mark snapped his fingers a few times in front of Jackson’s face, trying to get his attention. Jackson jerked his head back and blinks a few times as he snapped out of his thoughts and met Mark’s dark orbs. “Well which shoes do you like better?” Jackson looked down to where Mark’s hands are pointing at, two pairs of shoes, same design just different colors. Practically the same shoes Mark had just purchased at the other store. 

That was when Mark had realized the bags surrounding them, all from different stores, some from a high end brands, most from stores with actual reasonable prices. There was almost a dozen too much. “D-don’t you think you’ve gotten enough...stuff?” 

Jackson looked up to meet Mark’s eyes again, this time his eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion, as if he didn’t think the mess by their feet were actually a big deal. Mark just shook his head, looked at him as if he was speaking nonsense and diverted his attention back to the shoes. “I think we should call it a day Mark.”

Mark looked at him again. “No I’m not done shopping.”

“You can’t just--” Jackson inhaled loudly, having flashbacks of Mark swiping his black card multiple times, the digits of each transaction reading high numbers that even Mark can’t just name is as pocket money. Digits Jackson can only see on his lifetime when he types half of the numbers of his cell phone numbers. Digits Jackson can only get after three months of working. “Mark, this is enough. Let’s go home.”

“But I don’t feel better,” Mark mumbled bitterly, now just sad and exhausted. 

“You’re--I’m tired, let’s just play video games at the dorms,” Jackson patted his shoulder and sighing softly. 

“Fine,” Mark head dropped to his chin. “But at my place.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“You’re heavy, get off!” Mark wasn’t heavy, with how skinny he was Jackson can bench pressed his weight with no sweat. But with the way Mark had a leg thrown over his lap and his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, head resting on his shoulder, it was making Jackson feeling all sorts of uncomforts. They were suppose to be just playing video games, but four hours into dorm crashing and they were watching some sappy action movie. Mark decided to get a little more comfier than usual. 

“No, I’m comfortable like this, you’re so warm,” Mark mumbled, too childishly for Jackson not to find adorable. Jackson only groaned louder as he forced himself to fall on his side, anything to pry Mark off. But it only got worse when the latter fell with him and adjusted himself so he was force little spooning Jackson, face hidden behind his head. 

“Mark!” Jackson squirmed in his place, whining loudly when Mark only hugged him tighter, the older also whining in complaint. “You’re being so clingy and sad and annoying, can you just--”

“Mark, you asshole, stop trying to hide from me--” Jacksons stayed frozen in Mark’s arms as Jaebum walked inside the room, looking as delicious as ever. The moment Mark sighed and went laxed at the sound of Jaebum’s booming voice, Jackson took the opportunity to scramble off his hold and stood, three steps away from Mark’s reach. Het met Jaebum’s eyes, guilt quickly rushed down his spine when he noticed the hurt and disappointment in his eyes. He wanted to desperately tell him that nothing he had seen was something he wanted to intentionally do. Wanted to prove that he didn’t  _ like  _ Mark. But there was just no words that can explain what he had just saw, at least words he can stutter out. Throat so clogged Jackson can barely breathe. 

“Go away.” Mark moaned loudly as he flipped to his stomach, arms bent above his head and face buried into his bed. 

It was a good thing Jackson didn’t believe in ghosts and spirits, because the way Jaebum’s head snapped, looking away from Jackson and back to Mark, seriously was so identical to that exorcism girl. Jackson, truly, tried his hardest not to comment on it, because not only was it too inappropriate, but Jaebum really scared him. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck. You!” Mark snapped back. Jackson flinched in shock. 

“No you don’t get to act like this!” Jaebum yelled back, the vein on his neck prodding out in pure anger. What in the hell was happening? Jackson just stared between them with his eyes widen, wishing, he wasn’t there. “You don’t get to hurt Jinyoung like that because you were jealous of my relationship with him!” 

“I am not acting like anythi--”

“You don’t get to hurt and berade Jinyoung the way you did. You should have spoken to me first before you had hurt him like that!”

Jackson visibly took a step back before he scoffed just at the thought. Of course Thotty Park would had something to do with Mark alternating between fusing and sulking. If it wasn’t him fucking up Jackson’s chances with Jaebum, it was breaking Mark and Jaebum apart. 

His scoff didn’t go unnoticed by Jaebum as he pointed accusingly by him, the whole head turning exorcism shit happening in the process as well. “And you! Stop trying to suck his dick every time something goes wrong!”

“Excuse me?” 

“He had nothing to do with this!” Mark barked, getting up from the couch as he stood up in lightning speed by just the sound of Jaebum’s offending scold. “Stop trying to bring up Jackson every time you have something against me! You know I had apologize!”  
“It’s not even about that and you fucking know it!” Jaebum yelled back, the two overheating bodies slowly migrating themselves closer as the shouting got louder. Jackson didn’t know when to intervene, because despite his built and love for building muscles, Jackson was a pussy when it comes to fist fighting and pain. 

“Then what is it Jaebum?! What’s so far up your ass so much that you’re being so defensive over a fuck boy you swear you got over?!”

Jackson felt down deep down in his stomach.  _ Fuck boy? _ Jackson didn’t just change his life a whole three sixty for him to be dumbed down as fuck boy. He would have defended himself, if Jaebum didn’t get to him first.

“The fact that you’re playing him to get to me! The fact that you’re using him to get me jealous is what this is all about!” Jaebum shoved a finger against Mark’s chest, Jackson not even realizing how close they have gotten to each other, only fully processing when Mark smacked the finger away. “You got so damn jealous of how close I am with  _ my _ Jinyoungie that you had to use Jackson to hurt me and to hurt him!”

Mark laughed this time. “Just admit it, why fucking don’t you Jaebum-ah? The only reason why you’re so pissed off was because Jackson would rather suck my dick than suck yours? And same goes to Jinyo--”

Jackson was on the verge of almost speaking up against the dick sucking when Jaebum had grabbed onto the color of Mark’s jacket pulled him close to his face. Jackson sucked his breath sharply before grumbling the words, “go fuck yourself.” And before Jackson can even step in and stop the nearing violence, Jaebum pushed the oldest one down to the floor, Mark falling off to his side at the sudden force. 

The situation finally kicked started Jackson’s body as he quickly lurched forward to grab Jaebum by the side before he can take a step closer towards Mark, predictably on the way to climb onto his lap and throw punches. “Yah!” Jackson yelled when Jaebum refused to settle down in his hold, unable to do anything than shove Jaebum multiple times until he was out the door. “Jaebum calm the fuck down!” 

“Let go of me!” Jaebum yelled, now in the hallways as he tried to tear through Jackson’s tight hold, using every fiber in his arms to stop him from coming back to the room. Luckily, Mark was more clear headed than Jaebum when he had shut the door close after yelling out a fuck-you, the bolts of his door clicking through the wall. Jaebum’s chest was heaving heavily, heads from each of the dorm rooms peeking out from their doors to look at the scene. 

“Jaebum, you’re embarrassing yourself,” Jackson pleaded as he tried pushing Jaebum further away from Mark’s door and towards the elevator. Soon, Jaebum finally gave up fighting as he pushed Jackson off of him. He glared at Jackson for what it seemed like forever before making a sharp turn and walking off, his shoulder still heaving in anger. 

Jaebum walking away felt too familiar from the way he had walked off from Jackson’s life. The day Jaebum had completely cut off contact, the day Jackson saw him completely broken. A sight too similar to how he had seen Jaebum inside the room. But this time, Jackson just didn’t let him walk away, seething. Jackson followed him, even going as far as sticking his hand into the closing doors of the elevator and walking in. 

They stood in the elevator in silence, the quick twenty seconds it took them from going down three floors felt almost like an eternity. While Jackson stared at Jaebum, the latter never met his eyes, he just glared straight ahead like he was trying to melt the doors. 

“Jaebum..”

It was too late for Jackson to speak, failing to take advantage of the enclosed space, when doors opened and Jaebum immediately walked out. “Jaebum!”

Jaebum didn’t bother to look back and wait for what Jackson had to say. He was clearing seething with his fingers still clenched into tight fists and shoulders squared off, guarded. Even with the way he pushed the door opened had evidently shown his anger, especially when the door banged against the wall, scaring Jackson into bits that it might have shattered. But Jackson followed anyways. 

“Hyung!” Jackson feet started picking up the space as he fell into a slow jog, hand reaching out to grasp Jaebum’s wrist, a weak attempt to stop Jaebum, but it did the job anyways. Jaebum gradually came to a stop, chest still heaving, but he reluctantly looked over his shoulder to glare at Jackson. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you blow up on him like that?”

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Jaebum asked as he aggressively tug his hand away, the force so strong Jackson almost stumbled forward, inches away from face planting against Jaebum’s chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah you!” Jaebum hissed as he got up in Jackson’s space, almost similar to how he had been when he was yelling and berating Mark, the anger in his eyes quite familiar but the hurt, it was on another level.

“What am I doing?” Jackson asked, dumbly. 

“What the fuck do you mean?” Jaebum narrowed his eyes. “Stop playing games, it wasn’t cute months ago and it isn’t cute now. Stop it before you damage someone more than you already have.”

“D-damage? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Jinyoung! Mark! Me! Stop juggling all of us and thinking it’s entertaining to watch us cater to your damn feelings all the time,” now Jackson was confused. He physically took a step back and looked at Jaebum, in anger and bewilderment. What was happening?

“How is this any of my fault? I’m only being a good friend to Mark, like how everyone is asking me to do,” Jackson stated, out of breath. “Oh for fuck sakes, I’m only doing what everyone is telling me to do even when I don’t want to.”

Jackson threw his hands up in disappointment. 

“I don’t want to be friends with Mark, I really don’t. I didn’t want to in the first place,” Jackson clenched his jaws. Refusing to look at Jaebum even when the older’s breath hitched at the confession. “Seeing Mark, being with Mark, just interacting with Mark alone. It fucking hurts me too, you know. To be with someone and feel nothing but anger and jealousy--and yes I can be hurt too Jaebum. I can be jealous too. You two keep playing with me and I am tired of it.” 

“Playing with you? Is this what this is? Us--”

“Yes! Jaebum yes!” Jackson cried out, tears suddenly welling up at the corner of his eyes. Apparently his voice being loud enough that Jaebum had to take a step back. “You knew I was interested, you fucking knew that! And you still played with my feelings like as if I was nothing! You go around flirting with me and then turn your back to be all sweet and shit with Mark. How the hell was I suppose to feel then?” 

Jackson couldn’t help himself but throw himself back to those moments, where it all had started. With Jaebum feigning his interests in Jackson as he juggles his time between Mark and him. Those times were Jackson was just right  _ there _ , looking at him, watching him, hoping for once Jaebum would just look his way. But instead all his attention, all his smiles, all his laughs, and all his lingering gazes were onto Mark. 

Then there were those sent videos of Jaebum, the confusing one of them all. He’d tell Jackson he likes him, that he dotes on him, interested in him, but in turn, when it all matters, suddenly they were just  _ words _ and not the truth. But Jackson still liked him anyways, after all the hurting and all the suppressing, even when it shatters him. To see Jaebum, looking at someone who isn’t Jackson. Even more so, when the thing he dreaded flashed right before his eyes. 

How can Jaebum even accuse him of fucking things up when Jackson had done nothing but be a good  _ friend _ ? 

Jaebum narrowed his eyes. “So you went ahead and think it was also okay to do the same to me? To play around with Mark...to get back at me?”

“No!” Jackson scoffed and looked off to the side to blink away the tears, sniffing loudly. “Mark needed a friend. And I don’t know why he thought that friend was me, but I went along with it. For Mark. For you. And for everyone else wanting everything to be all sparkles and rainbow and fuck, assuming everything was just fine.” 

“This was not about being his friend,” Jaebum shook his head, voiced drowning in distaste. “You clearly have unsettled feelings for Mark. You shouldn’t have said it was okay for Mark to date--”

“What else did you expect me to say?” Jackson bit his bottom lip, trying to still suppress his tears. “That no Jaebum, you can’t date Mark?”

“What?”

“That because of me you can’t go ahead and find your own happiness, because I didn’t feel happy about it? How is that fair on you?” Jackson wasn’t able to stop the tears then. “I wanted you to be happy. And it sucks so fucking much that your happiness lies on Mark. And I’m sorry if I’m not all too happy about it. And I’m sorry that my way of coping with it isn’t all that great. And I’m sorry that I hurt you and hurt Mark in the process. But I tried, I really did try to stay out of it. What was I supposed to do? Every decision I made, every single thing I did contradicted what you keep telling me, that I still had feelings for him. When I don’t Jaebum, I don’t. Because I have feelings for you and I’m hurt. I can be hurt too. And--”

Jackson swallowed down the lump in his throat as he let his last tear run down his face. This was just too much. And even more so when Jaebum took a step forward. Jackson knew Jaebum was going to try and take his hand, comfort him, tell him he’s sorry and that everything is going to be fine. Maybe even promise him to tone his relationship with Mark down when it comes to Jackson’s presence. Or perhaps, to tell him that their friendship won’t work out now that Jackson’s feeling on the table. Now that he knows how much Jaebum matters to him and how hurt he feels to see them. They can’t be friends anymore and they can’t be in the same space.

Just from the thought of Jaebum extracting himself away from his life just hurts, far too much for Jackson to bear. So refused to hear any of it. Refused to acknowledge the fact that he had officially fucked things up, between him and Jaebum, and him and Mark. 

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” 

Jackson left without even trying to turn his head to check up on Jaebum. He just left. Just like how Jaebum had left him after their heated banter all those months ago. When Jaebum had attempted to make things right again between him and Jackson, but was only turned away by Jackson’s spiteful words. Without a single glance back to engrave in his memories as the time he had truly fucked things over. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jackson doesn’t see much of his friends the following week. Dodging them as much as he can and even blocking every single one of their numbers and turning off notifications on the group chats. He even dodged his own dorm in an attempt to neglect Jinyoung’s obvious concerns. He went in very late at night when he knew Jinyoung won’t be able to stay away and then leave as early as possible. 

When classes are over, he slipped out of campus to travel to a small welcoming cafe near the school, but far away enough and especially unknown enough that his friends won’t find him there. Sometimes he’d go to the gym to distract himself, a new one in fact. So that he won’t bump into Yugyeom.

Trying to dodge Jaebum had become the easiest out of all of them. He wasn’t going to the same school, so he wouldn’t have incidentally bump into him. Unlike Jinyoung, who, after seeing him from across the yard, chased him down until Jinyoung realized that all that sitting down and doing nothing did not help with his stamina, Jackson escaping quite successfully. But for some reason, he finds himself trying to convince himself driving down to his school to apologize would have been a bad idea. That he can no longer fix what’s already too broken. Jackson wanted to still. But he shouldn’t.

Taking advantage of the distance was probably the best.

That was until one night, he had been trapped. 

Jackson was naturally entering his dorm room, without the usual guard on and without the tension on his shoulders. Jinyoung had left him a note that he won’t be sleeping in the dorms for a week due to special outdoor project he needed to do. He wasn’t clear with it but Jackson didn’t try to investigate more. He was just happy he can go home without having to check if Jinyoung was there or if he was deep in his sleep to notice Jackson in the room.

So when he had entered the dorm, throwing his backpack on the floor and crouching low to take his sneakers off, he didn't notice the figure sitting on his roommate’s bed. Not until he saw a pair of socks with animated kittens scattered all over it, legs stretched out. His heart skipped a beat or two when he followed the line of the person’s legs that leads him to a long torso, leaning back, arms behind him and hands propped on the mattress. And then Jaebum’s blank stare looking at him. 

“Shit,” Jackson whispered low and softly before he quickly stood up, frantically putting his shoes back on and turning around to run for his life. Only except, Jaebum had already predicted Jackson’s evident reaction and had moved faster. He reached beyond pass Jackson to slam the door shut closed with his two hands on the door, chest pressed flushed against Jackson’s back, without any regard to the abnormally fast beating of his heart. 

“We need to talk,” Jaebum whispered, breath already haggard. Jackson was fairly certain he felt Jaebum’s lips brush along the shell of his ear, causing the deep flush on his cheeks to spread to his whole face. It’s hot, too hot. 

“No,” Jackson turned only for his breath to hitch dramatically and yet uncontrollably. Two dark orbs stared at him so sternly, narrowing almost, but enough so that they were carefully watching Jackson, looking out for any changes in Jackson’s features. Jaebum was too close, he didn’t even want to think about how his lips looked, refusing to even look at it, just for a mere glance. Even when he feels Jaebum breath on his lips. “I don’t want to talk. I already said what I wanted to say.” 

Jaebum took a step closer, arms now leaning against the door. Jackson swallowed hard, and he can Jaebum heard it, the corner of his lips twitching into a slight smirk. Damn it, he was paying too much attention to the details of his lips.

“I haven’t.”

“Look, I don’t want to go through this again--”

“I’m not dating Mark,” Jaebum stopped him, as abruptly as him dropping the news. 

Jackson just stared up at him, eyes widening, the revelation winding him too fast and too suddenly. He broke Jaebum and Mark up, he did what he told and reminded himself over and over again not to do. Because of him Mark was probably crying and devastated and he probably hates Jackson. Is this why Jackson hasn’t seen Mark, not even a glimpse since the fight? Granted, Jackson has been ignoring everyone and running away, but at least he has seen everyone else over the course of the days. “You broke up with him?”

“No,” Jaebum whispered, tone almost too playful, like everything was just a joke with him. Like none of what had just happened mattered. “We were never together to begin with.”

“What?” Jackson’s eyebrows furrowed to meet in the middle. “Yes you were--did you two not make it official?” He remembered Mark saying they weren’t ready, or along those terms. But that was because wanted to double check with Jackson if it was okay with him. He didn’t know they were still waiting. 

“Mark is dating Jinyoung, not me,” Jackson almost didn’t hear the words. Took a few seconds to process in his mind. “I never dated Mark and I never planned to.”

“What? What are you talking about--” Jaebum got closer. Jackson backed himself up against the door frame, almost going on the tip of his toes in an attempt to move farther away. He can feel it. Jaebum’s uneven heart beats along his chest. Even with their height differences, he can still feel it against his own chest. Unless, it was his own.

“Jackson,” he whispers so delicately and deeply that it had Jackson’s heart palpitating violently. He cringed, did Jaebum feel that too? “I was never interested in Mark.”

It all started to click in Jackson’s head. The moments between Mark and Jinyoung. All the lingering touches, the loving stares, Mark’s constant inquiries over Jinyoung’s locations, and perhaps that one time they held hands at the movies, and then the other time when they were buying ice cream, dragging a reluctant Jackson along. Or disappeared together in a room during that frat party, leaving Jackson to take care of Jaebum (and Youngjae) alone and then officially leaving together after. Mark constantly kissing Jackson’s ass and Jinyoung’s proud smiles. But that still didn’t explain the fight. 

“But then...last week...why were you yelling at me?” Jackson suddenly felt the anger seething and coiling from the bottom of his stomach. The heat from being flushed and surprised not churning into fury. “You accused me of sucking Mark’s dick!” Jackson pushed Jaebum off of him with two hands on his chest, hard enough the send him a step back or two but not enough to hurl him across the room or send him flying to the floor. 

“You yelled at me in front of all those people.” Another shove. This time Jaebum looked shocked. 

“Made me cry in front of all those people and half of them knew who the fuck I was and that was fucking embarrassing.” Another shove and Jaebum’s calves hit the front of Jackson’s bed frame. 

“Jackson-”

“I confessed to you. I told you I liked you and you still made me cry and didn’t even bother correcting me, furthering my eternal embarrassment in front of those people and! And I ignored my best friends because of this when  _ you _ of all people could have cleared out all those misunderstandings right then and there!” Jackson shoved Jaebum again, this time hard enough that Jaebum had squealed and stumbled back, legs getting knocked over and weak until he fell back onto the bed. His body bouncing twice before he settled. 

“Wait Jackson I was going to say something--”

“I fell asleep at the gym three days ago and got yelled at by one of the trainers! Just because I couldn’t bother talking to Jinyoung out of pure shame that I had ruined every bits of the dynamics in our perfect little clique!” Jackson inhaled deeply and loudly through his gritted teeth as he climbed over Jaebum’s lap until his knees are settled on each side of his waist. 

“But Jackson you ran--”

“And now you’re telling  _ me _ after  _ months  _ of feeling horrible that I couldn’t score a fucking kiss from Im Jaebum, film prodigy himself, because I thought that you were dating Mark fucking Tuan, a fucking God sent beauty who I can barely compete with at any aspect no matter how much I try. Because he’s so damn pretty that a single smile from him can take  _ my _ man away just like that. Not just that but,” Jackson paused to grip at the collar of Jaebum’s button up to reel him in, lifting his head up from the mattress, “that everything I had believed and fooled myself into was all in fact a big fat lies!”

“We didn’t lie!”

“Shut the fuck up maybe!” Jackson’s face was close to his, enough that he can feel Jaebum’s warm breath near his lips again. “I am so mad! I wasted my time being emo over something that isn’t even real! And you! You couldn’t even bother to tell me the actual truth. To let me fucking know that my feelings were at least being repricocated by you. To at least feed my ego that I make your dick stir too!”

“I’m sorry I thought you just knew.”

“How Jaebum!? How could I have known?!” 

“How can you have not known!?” Jaebum yelled back, hand trying to pry Jackson’s hand away from his throat. “I travelled back and forth for you. And I didn’t even mind if I had to drive myself crazy, almost ten hours a week just to see you, and just you! I made you the muse of my project, don’t you remember that? The dates we went on? The flirting? I cuddle you every time we meet up on this same very bed? How can you not realize?”

Jackson just stared at him, eyes wide and brain slowly starting the process everything that had happened the past few months. He released his hold on Jaebum’s shirt as he tried to think about everything in more details and less of his assumptions playing a role in his emotions. “Well fuck.”

“I should be the one mad at you right now,” Jaebum clicked his tongue. “Are you fucking with me? The  _ Tinder _ stunt you tried pulling off? The Mark talks? For real?” 

“I was trying to set a boundaries! I thought you were dating Mark, I was just reminding you just in case--in case that--you might have intentions--ideas that you may or may not want to cheat on Mark--with me--I didn’t want to be a homewrecker!”

“Jackson,” Jaebum grabbed his hand to give it a tight squeeze, the pad of his thumb running along his knuckles. “I like you. A lot. So much. Too much.”

“You’re really not dating Mark?” Jackson stares down at him and Jaebum shakes his head with a small smile, letting out an amused chuckle through his nose. “Oh wow.”

“Can you kiss me now or what?”

“No,” Jackson shook his head and sat up all of a sudden. Jaebum threw him a confused gaze, clearly taken by surprise, especially when Jackson hops off of him. He walked over towards the door and grabbed the doorknob to open it wide. He pointed through the door frame and looked at Jaebum with a blank expression. “I would like you to leave.”

“What?” Jaebum fully sat up on the bed, fingers slowly clenching at his side. “Wait Jackson,” he stood up from the bed and slowly made his way towards the younger, steps hesitant and seemingly scared. “Come on. I said--I thought we’re fixing things.”

“We are,” Jackson calmly stated as he looked up Jaebum’s towering figure. “I just would like you to go home, call me when you’re in bed, then ask me out on a date.”

“I packed a bag already, I’m not going home,” Jaebum looked at him with his eyes slowly narrowing before he grabbed a hold on the door and closed it back with just a flick of his wrist. He then pointed at the duffel bag besides where Jackson had thrown his and Jackson had just stared at it for a few minutes. 

“Do you think I’m easy?” 

“What?”

Jackson pointed at the bag. “Do you think I’m easy? You really think just because you come here, looking all sexy and chic, and apologize and explain yourself means I’d easily allow you to invade my private moments and let you stay?”

“Yes,” Jaebum confirmed assertively. “Jackson it’s late. You’re really going to send me home?”

“Yes,” Jackson mocked the older’s tone. “Go home hyung.”

“But,” Jaebum shoulders sunk and a sigh escaped him. “I live an hour away Jackson and the traffic is bad around this time.”

“If you can drive ten hours a week to go back and forth for me, you can make this journey too.”

“Jackson-ah,” Jaebum grabbed his hand suddenly with both of his, squeezing his fingers comfortable. But Jackson just looked at him sternly. “Fine I’ll go home.” 

Jaebum didn’t move though, despite his words. He just stood there, with his hands still grasping onto Jackson’s, thumbs gently caressing his palm. And he stared, deep and longing, even having the nerve to slowly jut his bottom lip, enough that he looked like he was pouting, but only discreetly. He did this for almost half a minute before Jackson broke.

“Fine! Sleep here! I don’t care,” Jackson pulled his hand away and clicked his tongue. “But you’re sleeping in Jinyoung’s bed.”

“Fine,” Jaebum retorted, though clearly happy with how he beamed proudly. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Goodnight Jackson.”

Jackson just hummed as he slipped inside the comforts of his sheets. Laying down on his side facing the wall and his back turned to Jaebum. The same position he grew in habit sleeping with. He didn’t miss the way Jaebum clicked his tongue in mere displeasure. Jackson just pretended he didn't hear it as he closed his eyes and let sleep get to him. 

Sleep wasn’t hard for Jackson to slip into. Not even with Jaebum behind him, obviously shooting sad daggers on the back of his head. So with a last sigh he managed to allow himself to lull into sleep. 

That was until he felt his blanket being lifted off of him and he felt a dip on his mattress. Jackson eyes opened slowly when he felt Jaebum laying down behind him and even having the audacity to roll himself over so his face was pressed against his back, with an arm hooked over his waist. A happy sigh escaping Jaebum.

However, Jaebum wasn’t satisfied with sneaking himself in Jackson’s bed. With just laying down behind him. So without any regards to Jackson, he rolled and moved over him to get to the other side. “Ow hyung! You’re heavy this is not cute. Get off of me!” Jackson groaned as he fought Jaebum but much to his dismay the older still won either way and slipped himself between Jackson and the wall. Where he laid down facing Jackson, leg thrown over the younger’s waist as he laid his cheek against his pillow, nose just an inch away from his. 

“You’re so stubborn.”

“I am,” Jaebum slipped an arm under him, Jackson instinctively lifting himself up for the arm as he wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer until their lower half are close enough, Jackson’s legs tangled with his. Jackson looked up to be met with two dark orbs staring at him like Jaebum was trying to read him, eyebrows slightly wrinkled. “Tinder, are you fucking with me?”

“Hyung! Shut up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it done? Is it complete? Do I end it here?
> 
> Where is that kiss? Do we not get a kiss? Are we even going to get a kiss?
> 
> Oh and Jinyoung is with Mark, doing the do.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want to talk hit me up!
> 
> Twitter: jaebeomsuwu  
> CC: https://curiouscat.me/imparkong


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